continued…

A smallish man clothed stereotypically in the fashion of all the others in the room stood and started speaking in an odd way. He would accent some words more than others in strange places. Then he would greatly vary the volume and timbre of his voice as he wound through his speech.

“How is it, now before, that we have not, notwithstanding the synthetic syntax, the wherewithal to compound with relative statistical frequency to query the proximity of such not such a loquacious veracity of sub-conjunctive pronoun suffixation? Asking, of course, as the…”

He was promptly cut off in mid sentence by another speaker slightly taller than the first speaker, “But quite clearly, in a nondescript manner of dialect, one or many of this”, the interrupter here put in a sarcastic tone, “relative statistical frequency would surely as not have any non-definition that should necessarily supply any certainty past a degree of healthy skepticism in deductive syllogistic logic that we could never put our feigned and respected dutiful vocational trust if we fail not to fail in succeeding not but where it can be said that…”

At this point an even taller speaker (but slightly bent over as if from permanently slumped shoulders) rose and started stumbling around the room running into chairs and table corners occasionally, “This well respected fool representative of our much not seemingly esteemed dutiful vocation has naught but a slightly vaunted analytic quasi-concept of the elastic nature, herewith, semi-inclusive forms of highly and not but by a varied and as yet unspecified narrowly amount that can be but never is or should be, unless it can be proved”, here he stopped abruptly and gestured wildly with one arm knocking a massive pile of precariously balanced books and papers off the corner of one of his colleagues tables, “not that it ever will be proved, mind you! However, erstwhile until and unless such it should be proved by an as yet undiscovered but previously unestablished pseudo-science of the near to be future of times yet past that we…”

The rest of what this speaker said I couldn’t hear clearly; not that I could clearly hear what he was trying to say before he was drown out by a general uproar. Several other speakers rose and started shuffling around speaking to the room at large in an aggravated way. The speaker that had had his papers and books knocked off the table immediately stopped gathering his chaotic mess and climbed up on the table alternately yelling and whispering that someone “might surely be responsible for disordering his life’s work”. From what I gathered, when he was yelling and thus audible, he maintained that he would be starting an “analytic/synthetic cross verification of grammar that would show which group of supposed linguistic specialists would be sued for reparations to his statistically implied integrity…” I couldn’t hear the rest as he immediately switched into whispering mode to continue his tirade.

I approached him, started helping him to gather the scattered books and papers and said, “Clearly it was the third speaker that knocked your stuff all over the place.” I pointed at the third speaker, “I saw him do it. You saw him do it as well.”

The speaker looked at me with a sardonic grin, “Oh, I see. The non-speaking intruder opens his mouth simply if not otherwise than to show his lack of sophistication in matters that he obviously has no such previous understanding of which he can not but hold a non-unspecified…”

I did some cutting off of my own, “Look, I was just trying to help. Clean it up yourself.” I turned around and started to walk off when I saw the paper dumping third speaker pick up a huge book and swing it around in a big arc connecting directly into the head of a speaker that had gotten up and was walking around pontificating. The third speaker then started yelling directly at the second speaker. Every time the speaker he was yelling at answered in turn the third speaker would run over to another of the speakers wandering around the room at random, smack him firmly in the head with the book and run back over to continue his shouting match with the second speaker.

The other speakers started furiously writing things down on scraps of paper they had previously hidden in their socks and now pulled out for this purpose. That explained the bulges. Or at least it explained what the bulges were. One speaker put his chair on top of his table, pointed at it and accused someone in the room of trying to prove that it existed. Another group of speakers pulled out some enormous cigars, lit them, proceeded to light each others hair on fire and screamed painfully that they were on the “near, but not quite yet verge of authoring a resolution” to some effect or other. I couldn’t make out the details but they were very intense about it. Or maybe it was just the pain from their burning scalps.

The speaker that had placed his chair on his table had climbed up on his chair and was now jumping up and down on it shouting that no one could get away with proving that his chair existed.

Finally a semblance of order was restored when an extremely tall speaker rose silently, shuffled slowly and seriously bent over to the jumping speaker and pulled the chair over when the jumping speaker was in mid air. He came crashing down through the table below. His table was in splinters and probably also some of his bones by the look of his legs. Four other speakers immediately stopped what they were doing, rushed over to the fallen speaker and beat him unconscious with large books. The room was silent except for the sound of heavy breathing caused by the physical exertion.
This extremely tall speaker was as I mentioned very slumped over. I would think if he stood upright he would easily be ten feet tall. As his spine and shoulders seemed quite deformed he was maybe seven feet from floor to one pointed shoulder blade that stuck out over the top of his head which was shriveled down into his chest.